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| Mostly from 4 days -Now |
 ToFromThe Spy Who Loved Four Ounces of Flame-Grilled Meat in a Freshly Toasted Bun with Fresh Salad and Q's Special Relish #bondburgers 2 days ago
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| ToFrom @DiamondGeezer visits my home town, discovers long-lost pleasure pier we didn't realise we had 3 days ago
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| ToFrom Should TV phone-in competitions be scrapped? Dial 09011 69 69 69 69 to register your vote (£12.50/call) 5 hrs ago
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| ToFrom @chthonicionic @robmanuel Crying with laughter at those cartoons. Brilliant, give that B3TAN the keys to the internet 4 hrs ago
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| ToFrom @TracyAnnO Did anyone tell you not to feed cat after midnight? Not that it turns evil - it'll poop on your duvet otherwise 3 days ago
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| ToFrom Oh Lordy, I've just sent a message to my County Council at @dorsetforyou ending "I am not mad". I do hope they've got a sense of humour 1 day ago
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| ToFrom New B3ta Question of the Week - Complaints http://www.b3ta.com/quest... <<< Yeah, my idea. MINE. talk to the hand 14 hrs ago
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| ToFrom I, too, have been dragged into the "No Ball" betting scam. I stand to win 150,000 quid if it turns out Justin Bieber doesn't have any 4 days ago
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| ToFrom @Ashaa_bashaa You know that "beady eyes beady eyes ding ding ding" thing? That's your mum, that is ;) 1 day ago
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| ToFrom @jordanharper I can live with Go Compare because they know it's rubbish. The halifax ads make you hanker for the good old days of Howard 3 days ago
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| ToFrom Just saw Emile Heskey looking bewildered in a car park in Reading. Said he was aiming for Bolton, but missed #deadlineday 2 days ago
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| ToFrom If anyone is still hoping to catch the Hogwarts Express today a) you saddo b) it's running late - Death-eaters on the line 1 day ago
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| ToFrom "My old man / said be a Tottenham fan / I said 'I'm sorry pater, I only follow Gloucester Rugby Union, what?" #poshfootballchants 2 days ago
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| ToFrom @stevedixcomedy Police force battles gang of armed robbers and terrorists bent on unseating government (Robin Hood) #TwistedFilmReview 10 hrs ago
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| ToFrom @antonvowl Last of the Summer wine - It turned out Thora Hird was the Devil, and they burned Russ Abbott in a Wicker Man 3 days ago
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| ToFrom Tomorrow: With all the world's problems (bar one) solved, I finally kill off the Adam and Jane BT adverts. No need to thank me 2 days ago
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| ToFrom @neilhimself You have stumbled upon a huge gap in the market. In years to come you shall be known as "Sushi and Chips mogul Neil Gaiman" 3 days ago
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| ToFrom @ajhmurray "The Stig as SAS man" - that's only one step away from claiming he was on the balcony at the Iran Embassy siege 11 hrs ago
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| ToFrom @dorsetforyou I've just seen your press release re: Swannery Bridge. My immediate response: AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! 11 hrs ago
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| ToFrom West Ham have signed a player called Ruud Boffin. Little do they know that it's actually Stephen Hawking and his copy of Viz Profanisaurus 15 hrs ago
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| ToFrom I am 44 years old and today heard Neu! for the first time. This is why I >heart< @laverneshow #6music 1 day ago
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| ToFrom @dotmund I only ever caught the last five minutes when Richard Briars "accidentally" goes dogging in the Dormobile - with hilarious results! 1 day ago
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| ToFrom Refused service at Morrisons petrol station as I wanted to pay cash after 7pm. Went a bit "Falling Down" on them. 1 day ago
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| ToFrom @antonvowl Viscounts? VISCOUNTS? Are you mad? They burned people in the middle ages for less 1 day ago
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| ToFrom Hmm.... Don't know whether to treat myself to the Tony Blair book or a Turd in a Box. Tough choice. 1 day ago
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| ToFrom "ONE man SENT HIS SERVANT TO MOW, HIS SERVANT TO MOW A MEADOW" #poshfootballchants #chelsea 2 days ago
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| ToFrom "I AM AFRAID, OLD CHUM, YOU WILL BE TRAVELING home IN AN AMBULANCE PROVIDED BY BUPA" #poshfootballchants 2 days ago
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| ToFrom @jazzchantoozie She could just be warning the world that she's got crabs. The evidence is all there to be seen 2 days ago
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| ToFrom "Side effects may include intense dreams, passing wind, coma, death" - NOW they tell me 2 days ago
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| ToFrom Arsenal take Adebayor back from man City, but loan him straight out to Leyton Orient so he can get some first team experience #dodgyrumour 2 days ago
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| ToFrom Football transfer deadline day. Is this the place to start an "Adebayor back to Arsenal" rumour? 2 days ago
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| ToFrom @SarahMillican75 I demand you get back there and give them the full "Don't you know who I am?" And then have chips. 3 days ago
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| ToFrom I've got a similar pitch for an odour-free toilet. It's called "crapping in a bag behind the shed" £50,000, pls #dragonsden 3 days ago
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| ToFrom I've written a series of books about Chocolate Bourbon biscuits, and would like £100,000 #dragonsden 3 days ago
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| ToFrom Explanations R Us: Radio2 played "Merry Christmas Everybody" this afternoon. It's Christmas, and it's trending 3 days ago
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| ToFrom BLOG: Those halifax radio station adverts make me want to actually kill people to actual death 3 days ago
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| ToFrom @DianaInHeaven I understand your new title is to be Diana, Duchess of Cockermouth. Phil the Greek's idea. 3 days ago
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| ToFrom Spoilers for tonight's last ever Last of the Summer wine - they're all dead and Clegg's guiding them through purgatory in a tin bath 4 days ago
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